Smart Gilas, the developmental basketball team gearing up for the 2011 FIBA-Asia Olympic qualifier, finished a very respectable 5th in the recently concluded FIBA-Asia Champions Cup. It was great to see the team on the right track, and it really does seem that the kids are alright.

The only drawback to this development is that former PBA Commissioner and current SBP Executive Director Noli Eala, the man in charge of the development program, is back in the spotlight to huff and puff. And as bad as Quinito Henson is, he's Barack Obama compared to Nolia Eala.

Eala began his career in sports as a play-by-play man for the PBA's television coverage, and every fan quickly recognized him as the dumbest PBA announcer around. You think I'm kidding, but here's a clip of him counting Ginebra import Leon Trimmingham's hangtime. The only problem was, he was looking at a replay of the move, and he was counting Trimmingham's hang time in slow motion.



For some reason, he ended up becoming PBA commissioner in 2003. He had a tough debut year, dealing with problems with the league's television contract and Fil-am eligibility. To be fair to him, he was able to right the ship somewhat, and the PBA was able to show impressive growth near the end of his run.

While he surely did his share, I'm not too sure how much he really had to do with that success. After all, during his tenure from 2004 to 2007, the league's most popular teams, Ginebra, Purefoods, and San Miguel, figured in each conference championship series.

But Eala managed to keep up the stupidity quotient at a high level for most of his term. He was dead-set on the idea of implementing the three-point dunk before the league's coaches vetoed his hare-brained idea. He also was so impressed by KG Canaleta's dunks during an All-Star week that he considered writing the NBA so that Canaleta can perform as a guest dunker during the NBA's All-Star festivities.

(Also, he always asked to be introduced as Commissioner Attorney Noli Eala. It's odd, David Stern is also a lawyer, but he never asks to be introduced as Commissioner Attorney David Stern.)

Then in 2007, Eala stopped being an attorney as he was disbarred by the Supreme Court for an extra-marital affair, and was shortly forced to resign. I'm still not sure though if he was disbarred because of the affair, or because he wrote this really, really shitty love letter to his lover shortly before her wedding:

My everdearest Irene,

By the time you open this, you’ll be moments away from walking down the aisle. I will say a prayer for you that you may find meaning in what you’re about to do.

Sometimes I wonder why we ever met. Is it only for me to find fleeting happiness but experience eternal pain? Is it only for us to find a true love but then lose it again? Or is it because there’s a bigger plan for the two of us?

I hope that you have experienced true happiness with me. I have done everything humanly possible to love you. And today, as you make your vows . . . I make my own vow to YOU!

I will love you for the rest of my life. I loved you from the first time I laid eyes on you, to the time we spent together, up to the final moments of your single life. But more importantly, I will love you until the life in me is gone and until we are together again.

Do not worry about me! I will be happy for you. I have enough memories of us to last me a lifetime. Always remember though that in my heart, in my mind and in my soul, YOU WILL ALWAYS

. . . AND THE WONDERFUL THINGS YOU DO!

BE MINE . . . . AND MINE ALONE, and I WILL ALWAYS BE YOURS AND YOURS ALONE!

I LOVE YOU FOREVER, I LOVE YOU FOR ALWAYS. AS LONG AS I’M LIVING MY TWEETIE YOU’LL BE!

Anyway, Eala's back in the limelight, basking in the glory of the developmental team's impressive performance. For example, he's already telling everyone how other teams in the tourney are going after the team's import, CJ Giles. While this may be true, it's obviously a ploy to raise his profile: other teams want the player that he "discovered" so he must be so brilliant.

To exaggerate further, Inquirer scribe June Navarro reported that even though Iran pays their import $100,000 a month, Eala and the SBP would heroically make sure that they would not lose Giles to any other team.

Of course, it's probably bullshit. A quick search on the Internet would show that Iran pays its imports about $20,000 a month (about the same rate for PBA imports). In fact, $100,000 a month for a basketball player would put him near the top of the list of the most highly-paid players in Europe, and an Asian team paying an import that much (especially with Iran's economy in the toilet) is just ridiculous.