I gotta admit, I like Ricky Hatton. He's got a sense of humor about himself--he once entered the ring in a fat suit as a nod to his detractors who call him Ricky Fatton--and throughout the build-up to his fight against Manny Pacquiao, he carried himself with humility and grace that his hooligan fans never bother to show. He's also smart and articulate, and with his popularity, he has been a good ambassador for boxing all these years.

That said, I felt a little sorry that he got pasted by Manny Pacquiao during their big fight. That was bad enough, but his trainer Floyd Mayweather Sr. threw him under the bus right after, in what was the most disgusting display by a cornerman since Bobby Heenan turned on Andre the Giant back in Wrestlemania VI.

Ricky has been one of the truly great champions of the sport in our generation, and to honor him and make him feel better, I'm writing down a list of things in which Hitman still has the advantage over Pacman.

1. Wife or Fiancee

Unfortunately, this category would be a much fairer fight if we counted actresses romantically linked to each boxer (*cougharaminacough*), but I didn't want to get sued for libel this early in the blog's life. So we'll just count the "official" women in the lives of our champions.

In the red corner, Mrs. Jinkee Pacquiao:



In the blue corner, Ms. Jennifer Dooley:



See, Ricky's in good spirits already, so soon after the fight.

2. Friend of Wife or Fiancee

You see, this category matters more than you realize. Both Hatton and Pacquiao are affable fellows with huge entourages, and thus the answer to the question "Hey champ, is your girl's friend hot?" is very, very important. So I present to you, first, Jinkee Pacquiao's friend:



Jinkee would be the one on the right. Actually, it doesn't matter, because they're twins, so the answer to the question above would be: "Well, she looks exactly like my wife." Which would make for a very awkward situation between you and the pound-for-pound champion of the world.

Meanwhile, here's Jennifer Dooley's friend on the left:



(*high-fives the reader*)

Yeah! That's what I'm talking about!

3. Filipino Comedian Look-alike

Pacquiao's doppleganger would be Manny Poohquiao, who is well-known for this admittedly very funny clip from Wowowee:



However, Hatton trumps him in this category too, because he's a dead ringer for Redford White:



Prior to his movie career in the '80s--he starred in classics such as Hee-man: Master of None, Rambo Tan-go, and Billy the Kid and the Sunshine Gid--Redford was part of the original Iskul Bukol cast, usually playing against charcoal Mang Temi. He continued his slew of successes with Buddy en Sol and a string of movies in the '90s, as well various shows this decade, including the recent hit TV series Kokey.

Redford White has traded barbs with the best of them: Tonette Macho, Cachupoy, Bonel Balingit, and Ruffa Gutierrez. If Pooh still has a career in 2029, then we can have a discussion. Otherwise he could just kiss Redford's white ass.

4. National Anthem Singer

This might be the biggest mismatch of all. Pacquiao would be trotting out Filipino crooner Martin Nievera.

Now, here's the thing about Martin Nievera: sure, we like his songs, but do you know anyone who likes the guy? Everyone thinks he's the biggest douchebag. He still can't speak straight Tagalog after living for thirty years in the country. He left his hot wife for another woman. And what the hell is up with the vest in this video? Buy a shirt, dude:



Meanwhile, Hitman's got royalty on his side with Sir Tom Jones. Here he is with his international mega-hit, Sex Bomb:



Tom Jones is, of course, most famous for the gaggle of women who throw their panties at him during his concerts. Up to this very day, Tom Jones could belt out the first few bars of Delilah and it would still be enough to make your grandmother come in her knickers.

It all comes down to this: Who'd you rather hang out with for an hour, Martin Nievera or Tom Jones? Exactly.

(Or a better question might be: If you're hanging out with Martin Nievera for an hour, whose neck would you first stab with a fork, his or yours?)

5. Famous Version of Blue Moon in Home Country

Orange and Lemons was a good enough band, I guess, and they did a good enough version of the standard for a good enough movie starring Jennylyn Mercado and Mark Herras:



But the version that Mancunians love takes the classic to another level, with a punk rock kick. Both Hatton and his beloved Manchester City football club use the song for their entrances:



6. Songwriter Friends

Manny Pacquiao's hits such as Para Sa 'Yo Ang Laban na 'To were written by Lito Camo, the same musical genius behind Bakit Papa?, Ispageti, Ocho-ocho, and Boom-tarat-tarat. On his own time, Lito Camo also has a budding career putting out crappy soft rock songs:



Ricky Hatton's entrance music, on the other hand, was co-written by Noel Gallagher. The guy is better known as the guitarist and main songwriter for the British rock band Oasis, who only came up with the greatest fucking song of the whole fucking '90s:




So even though Ricky got mauled by Pacquiao and he probably has to retire now, he can rest assured that in certain areas in life, he's still got the edge over the Baddest Man on the Planet.